JANNAZO: Launch the Boats!

Fort Walton Beach is a boater’s paradise. We love our boats–pontoon boats, ski boats, bass boats, you name it. We live for warm sunny days spent on our local waterways. The only thing better than owning your own boat is having lots of friends with boats!

Now, the “experienced” boaters in our area typically exhibit “good” judgment as they shove off on their nautical adventures. And as the saying goes–good judgment comes from experience—and that experience typically comes from bad judgment.

Perhaps you can identify with some (all?) of the following “experience” building from seasons past. If not, consider yourself lucky and take this as your annual refresher course in boat launching and recovering etiquette.

You skipped work on Friday to wax the boat, and at the crack of noon on Saturday, you load up (the boat) and head down to your favorite local launch ramp.

You arrive only to find a dozen first-time boaters who have the very same idea and timetable as you.

The first boat in the queue, a shiny new ski boat, is parked in the middle of the ramp. No one is in the car or around the boat. You notice a family of four in swimsuits and expensive sunglasses wandering over to the nearby Whataburger.

By now, you have lost just a bit of enthusiasm, so you head off to plan B and head to your alternate boat ramp.

Today, however, the boating gods are against you. You arrive just in time to witness another first-time boater launch his (and it will be “his”) newest 24-foot pride and joy. He is 30-something, overweight, and overmatched.

She is also 30-something, and will soon be in, literally, over her head. They have managed to back the trailer into the bay; the husband is in the boat, with the wife waist-deep on the ramp, is doing what boats do… floating away from the trailer.

Now the wife is neck deep and taking on water, the boat is heading to the Destin Pass, and the “husband of the year” is in the boat yelling to his now panicking wife, “Can’t you hold the boat? I have to get out and park the trailer!” Realizing you will NEVER launch your boat if you don’t help the Skipper and Gilligan; you get involved, throw the husband a rope, and help tie the boat off to the pier.

The dazed wife emerges with only a few strands of seaweed clinging to her.

At least he remembered the plug.

Getting the boat safely out of the water is a story for another day. However, keep this in mind—nobody improves their trailer backing skills spending the day at Crab Island. So trust me, leaning on the horn of your SUV will not help the nervous first-time boater back his trailer onto the ramp any faster.

If needed, stick with the snarling, head-shaking stare; it’s just as rude, but a whole lot quieter.

Jazz Jannazo is a former Okaloosa County Commissioner, current Freeport resident, and retired U.S. Air Force Pilot.

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